Guideline for the Military Girlfriend/Wife/Fiance:
1. Dont count on anything! Hurry up and wait!
2. Don't listen to anyone on the outside. All you will get is negative remarks, which will make things harder for you to deal with.
3. When he becomes stubborn and a royal pain in the ass, just remind yourself that he's probably had a bad day, and being away from you is hard on him too. So just let him rant and dont take it personal.
4. When you're down,treat yourself.
5. Learn how to listen, if you don't know how! He will need you. You will be the one he comes to when he needs to bitch, but don't bitch back. That is what we are here for! This is a hard time for our men and they need us much more than they think they do.
6. Love your man, be truthful and reassure him, even if he's deployed, he'll have someone to come back to.
7. He will try to pull away at some point, whether directly telling you to move on and not wait for him or just becoming too distant. Its a way they try to deal with it, a defense mecanism. Stcik with him because he really does want (and need) you there.
8. When he is away for a long time or even just a couple of hours away, write a lot of letters! Communication is key to a relationship.
9. Some of him friends will probable be morons. Expect this.
10. You aren't the only woman in his life. His mom misses and loves him too, so make sure she is updated on what is going on with him.
11. He needs to feel important so don't hold back on the compliments-remind him how proud you are of what he does.
12. Chances are they won't call when they say they will. That especially applies for deployed!
13. Don't buy that non-refundable airplane ticket too early.
14. When eating with them, you either finish yours in 15 minutes or less or be stared at until you are finished
15. Never take 1 single Minute with them for granted. Live each day with them like it is the last one you'll have for a while because with the military, it just might be.
16. Take lots and lots of pictures so you can remember what each other looks like.
17. Don't even TRY to compare your man to an ordinary civilian men. You can no longer bitch about broken plans, that phone call you were suppose to get but didn't, missed birthdays and anniversaries, his snoring (hey, at least he's sleeping BESIDE you), spending more time with "the boys" than you, etc. etc.
18. Always look on the bright side of things. How many of your gal=pals get to get there 1st encounter, 1st date, 1st kiss from their man over and over again?
19. Gotta be able to keep up with your man.
20. Even if he says he will, he probably won't. Maybe really means probably not OR probaby not when he said he would. Example: "I might be able to call you tomorrow", but he can't find the time to until a week later. Or "I might be able to come home next month for a week". That might turn into 2 weeks.
21. Being a military girlfriend/wife/fiance/mother is a very tough job. You have to deal with stress more then the average civilian girl. Have hope.
22. We find ourselves using military lingo: "I'm going to get my room squared away", or using military time. If it hasn't happened don't worry it will.
23. Patience is the biggest key to making the relationship work. You have to wait a lot, but in the end, waiting is what makes it all worthwhile.