Saturday, December 31, 2011

so long 2011

2011
given me lots of things
to be remembered to be learned
I lost my love life
I met new people
I am better than past years.really.
I spent less time with maryam
tiah and farhah. I'll make it up later ok guys?
I miss you guys thou.
and the most current thing
that I am totally going to share here
is I feel belonging here with my new frens.
they are awesome.
amie,dila,nad,dell and ella.
gosh I shud be spending more time
with you guys where I can sense
a family in all of you.
and least, I fall in love again.
bobo thanks for giving me chance
to know a kind hearted guy like you.


diary closed.
so long 2011
we meet 2012 real soon
lots of love,
benny, anis, faez

Wednesday, December 28, 2011

If and only if

If I were everyone
around me.
not myself I would be
jealous much of us.
how perfect we are
together. you and me
and let's forget the world.
kiss bo

Monday, December 26, 2011

:(

"It's like you're screaming, and no one can hear.
You almost feel ashamed,
that someone could be that important -
that without them, you feel like nothing.
No one will ever understand how much it hurts.
You feel hopeless; like nothing can save you.
And when it's over, and it's gone,
you almost wish that you could have
all that bad stuff back -
so that you could have the good."
-aggy

Saturday, December 24, 2011

syer wehh

syer,

I am
truly sorry :(


you are my drugs



baby, be my whiskey
be my red wine
be my tequila
be forever mine
because I need cocaine
I need morphine
and I need you


Friday, December 23, 2011

If it's true you are being together.

erghh.
this is weird.
well you guys do
the just want to know what's
happening with your ex's current life.
everyone did.
but if this is real. I mean
what you guys are heading is
towards love that eternity,
I like to wish good luck
and take care of each other.
I can't give you what she can,
I am so sorry that I wasn't perfect
or am. if you are reading this,
hisyam.
don't break her heart because
she is a girl and she is very precious.
I don't want to say much.
I wish the best for you.

addiction



I just cut my own hair.
I haven't do this thingy since
year 1995.
I was so obsessed with
cutting my own hair when
I was a kid.a little.
I just did it and it feels
a lot more relieved than killing
your own-self. really.



Thursday, December 22, 2011

First Heartbreak


I suppose it’s like—It’s mourning, isn’t it?
As if, like, someone has died,
because you’re so invested in something
that that part of yourself is dying,
you know? It’s like, gut-wrenching,
And then you’ve got to kind of—I suppose
it’s like yin and yang, you know?
And then you—You have to try and feel
whole yourself again…
because when you’re in a relationship
you are, like, quite enmeshed in a way.
-Agyness Deyn

pictures of us are more perfecto

Stroll in the park was
the best part of all.

I shud bring even larger picnic mat
so we can fit cuddling and lie down
under the open skies.

I wish to freeze the time
and stop the world
so that we can be forever
on that particular moment.

P/s: screww it for the rain. they envy much of us. :B
we cud have something more sweeter than this.
see, you showed me that dreams are real.
I love you. really.

-.-

I wish I could kill myself

see I'm screwing myself.
I'm gonna kill myself
if I let this stupid things
happen again in my life.
I have to seriously
learn from mistake.
fuck you idiot benny.

I prefer killing my own-self
REALLY

I trust you most




fuck. by all means. I'm really
don't want to cause you any trouble
or messing with your life.
but I just did. I am pathetically
sorry. I know it's not enough.
I really do sorry.




Thursday, December 15, 2011

syer he is

see that fucking
irritating face he made?
haha. kunun habis cute
la tueww -.-' yucks. haha
this is the one and only
guy that can stand
hearing all my nags and
blabbering and cursing
and we do sembang
kote together.
do you know how does
it feels like to have such
a great friend you trusted
most and sharing a lot
of things together?
it feels awesomee.
:B

p/s: thanks for everything.
lama dah aku nak buat post pasal kau
syer, cume tak nenyempat. haha.
more or less I am happy to have you around (:

Wednesday, December 14, 2011

kau ubah persepsi. kau fikir kau hebat?

aku menyokong penuh nilai murni
berpoligami. tapi tidak pada isu berbangkit
mengatakan bahawa berpoligami
mewajibkan isteri mentaati suami
sepenuh hati sehingga menghalalkan
'group sex' atau memberi satu tag line
bahawa layanan yang di berikan
dalam hal hal mengenai sex haruslah
menjadi lebih baik daripada
'first class prostitute'
tak ada perkataan berhemah lain
yang boleh diganti kepada prostitute
tersebut?
apa erti prostitute?

Prostitution is the act or practice of providing sexual services to another person in return for payment.

terlalu hina letak nya kedudukan
seorang isteri sehingga boleh digelar
seorang prostitute.
poligami pada dasarnya
disegani oleh agama lain
kerana pembahagian hak
dan sifat bertanggung jawab
yang adil lagi saksama boleh
dipikul dan ditanggung oleh seorang
suami. apabila group sex menjadi
satu trend, pada pandangan individualistik
ia tidak ubah seperti perlakuan
haiwan atau binatang.
adakah mungkin isteri isteri tersebut
melakukan sex terlalu
OBEDIENT kepada suami
dibayar dan seterusnya digelar
prostitute?
mungkin pada konteks sipulan
in return for payment itu
adalah nafkah yang diberikan
tapi isteri tidak perlu
menjadi objek seks kepada suami.
buruk benar bunyinya. sungguh.
mungkin kau nampak
perkataan prostitute
itu suatu yang cool disebut
atau di beri contoh
namun, tidak perlu ia dicanang
sehingga memberi persepsi buruk
tentang hidup berpoligami.
kau letak martabat perempuan
serendah pelacur,
kau racuni fikiran perempuan
untuk taat sepenuh hati kepada suami,
kau berikan gambaran bahawa
group sex itu menyeronokkan.
mana pergi maruah ?
lebih baik kau hidup tidak beragama
daripada memalukan agama kau sendiri.

p/s: iya masing masing punya fikiran tafsiran.
aku persoalkan perkara ini pucuk pangkalnya
mengingatkan diri sendiri. serta kau yang
lebih daripada jauh tergelincir dari landasan.



Sunday, December 11, 2011

love


When moonlight crawls along the street
Chasing away the summer heat
Footsteps outside somewhere below
The world revolves I've let it go
We build our church above the street
We practice love between these sheets
The candy sweetness scent of you
It bathes my skin I'm stained in you
And all I have to do is hold you
There's a racing within my heart
And I am barely touching you

Turn the lights down low
Take it off
Let me show
My love for you
Insatiable
Turn me on
Never stop
Wanna taste every drop
My love for you
Insatiable

The moonlight plays upon your skin
A kiss that lingers takes me in
I fall asleep inside of you
There are no words
There's only truth
Breathe in, breathe out
There is no sound
We move together up and down
We levitate our bodies soar
Our feet don't even touch the floor
But nobody knows you like I do
'Cause the world they don't understand
That I grow stronger in your hands

Turn the lights down low
Take it off
Let me show
My love for you
Insatiable
Turn me on
Never stop
Wanna taste every drop
My love for you
Insatiable

We never sleep we're always holdin' hands
Kissin' for hours talkin' makin' plans
I feel like im better man
Just being in the same room
We never sleep there's just so much to do
So much to say
Can't close my eyes when I'm with you
Insatiable the way I'm loving you

Turn the lights down low
Take it off
Let me show
My love for you
Insatiable
Turn me on
Never stop
Wanna taste every drop
My love for you
Insatiable

Thanks much.

Thursday, December 8, 2011

It's hard not to care


oh, I am never perfect for anyone.

I am broke. really


after all,
mending a broken heart
is not an easy thing to do.

Monday, December 5, 2011

And I bet you are just fine

I missed the night
we were all alone
you took my hand and
danced with me.
I remember you sang
me those lullabies
the sweetest thing you ever done.
I remember you hug me
endlessly until the morning light.
I can still feel you here with me.
trust me,
you'll never find someone
who can love you right.
I thought we could be together
forever ):



how does it feels
like to give all your heart
and soul to someone?
sigh.
they won't do the same.
trust me. really.
love only brings
you heartache.

mati


ini bukan pertama kali
aku rasa ingin mati.
sudah beberapa kali
sungguh ):

sedan

ada masa bila
kau rasa langit itu
rebah jatuh atas kau
bila angin kencang goyang
jasad kau bilamana
perasaan kau kucar kacir
bila kau rasa hendak hentak
benak fikiran hayun
perasaan hingga pecah berderai.
perasaan saat kau ingin
sendiri perasaan rimas
keadaan sekeliling.
hendak di maki hendak menghamun
perasaan yang mana kau
sendiri tidak dapat kawal
kau sendiri tidak tahu pucuk
pangkalnya. pukimak.
semua serba salah. semua hilang arah.
semua serba tidak kena.
ehh penat lah macam ni.
dalam fikiran beribu kali
terjun dari curam tinggi
bunuh diri, kan lebih mudah?
hati remuk senak perut
diri rasa sendiri walau
semua ada di sisi. aku penat.
penat fikir menerawang
hidup tak tenang.
dugaan melimpah. mana diri kau
yang kuat? mana diri kau yang
gagah? biarkan aku sendiri.
memutar masa membelit ilusi
megajar realiti. pergi dari sini
hentikan pandangan kejimu.
biarkan aku sendiri meratap
jasad tidak berjiwa.

take me there.


shoot Im changing my mind
instead of going to
venice italy i wud rather
die to go to rio de jenairo brazil
this place is beyond awesomee
i tell you. brazil, <3

Thursday, December 1, 2011

summer


hello spring,
I'm summer.
It was very
nice to meet you.

Tuesday, November 29, 2011

how to survive in exam.

being a student is always about
achieving good grades.
about what you have studied
and passing all your exam
with flying colors.
all you have to do is to be a hardworking
biatch and burn the midnight oil.
fuck study, when you can cheat in exam or test.
some call it teamwork and whatsoever.
but to see it in another point of view,
I call it how to survive your life.
Life has has to be either exciting or boring.
you choose.
and in exam the adrenaline rushes in your blood
is nothing beats nightmares.
life is also an examination. a test. or a quiz.


p/s: mesti best kalau hidup ini math.semua dah ada formula
ikut dan tak perlu pening fikir dan baca. ohyeah.
tak jugak, boring mungkin.


kalau mcm ni jawab exam dan betul i might ace all my exams .___.

Wednesday, November 23, 2011

I don't hold future





clueless.
talk about future like we had any clue



Monday, November 21, 2011

URGENT !

This is a post about someone I did trust
once was my primary school friend
and he turned out to be a very good cheater
what he did to me was he eventually did not refund my money.
an amount of money (hundreds) not to be mentioned
and the gadget (bb bold 2) that I ordered since
september 11th 2011 the day I deposited the money
and up till now I neither receive any item nor refund.
for whoever knows this guy please do whatever in your power to
have either my money back or the item.
or the LEAST YOU CAN DO IS
DON'T TRUST THIS GUY.







this guy apparently owns his own recording label. wtv.



I don't fucking care if you use my money to feed your family.
you know the limit buddy.
kalau best guna duit haram untuk jadikan kau berjaya tu buat lah :)
to be cheated and trusting issue are both a must in life.
but this guy has just test my patient.

p/s: letak diri kau dalam situasi orang.

Friday, November 11, 2011

are you looking for perfection? :)

whatever good for you
might as well good for me too.
I see you having a great life,
that's ghreat. take care there,
may you find what you looking for.
may there's someone can love you
as much as I can or better than me.
shoot, I am not perfect I forgot.
beg your pardon ;)
if perfection is what you looking for,
obviously it's not me.

eleven eleven

I need no wishes
I need no coin to toss
I need null hope for stuffs.
I need you. just you to be around, bobo.
happy 11.11.11

does that make any sense to you?
roight !
my fav number repeated thrice.

Tuesday, November 8, 2011

Rihanna - We Found Love (Official Video) ft. Calvin Harris


the person that worth your soul
is the person that knows u inside & out
which is hard to find.

sacred heart



I believe every bad
person has sacred heart.
even if it's a little.



moment




a moment when you feel like
disappear from everything
and everyone.



Friday, October 28, 2011

I like you a lot

After all
I can't control my feelings,
it wasn't what I expected to be
I just want you to know.
please don't get me wrong.
don't let your mind messed up.
it is just a simple plain sentence
I'm starting to like you like a lot.
I hope you get the message,
like seriously I'm addicted to you.
your smell esp. haa.
syampu clear kan :B
isn't it so great that we can tell straight
to the person we adore that we like them much?
many people failed to do so
which they end up to feel a total failure and
they shower themselves with regrets.
but still the past remains.
it haunts me badly.
how does it feels like when
a relation coming to an end? they told
me what you believe is what you get,
all I can see is heartache when we meet
the dead end.trust me, you'll hurt me,
you'll leave. me am I right? :(
cut this craps. don't think too much heartie.
you'll be fine. just be strong and let things
flow on their wayy.


p/s: i like you much.

Monday, October 17, 2011

Sunday, October 16, 2011

I lost my focus FML :)




it been days.
what I was doing is
basically nothing.
sleeping for 23 hours
having a bad eye-bags
fooling around, headache
and such.
to be honest
past week was the most
ridiculous and fucked up week.
play around to much
loosing focus and might
be dead in any moment from now.
god, guide me. keep me on track.
I shouldn't be doing
what I'm doing now.
no not too much.
6th week of 3rd semester
is killing me. I don't even
being focusing what am I studying.
Fuck my life. thank you.



p/s: was it me too busy dealing with life
or was it life that being so hard for me? :(

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

to be changed

First they ignore you.
Then they laugh at you.
Then they fight you.
Then you win.
-mahatma ghandi

I like this quote much.
there's another one btw,
Life can either
be accepted or changed.
If it is not accepted,
it must be changed.
If it cannot be changed,
then it must be accepted.
and I am fully accepted that
my ankle injury is nowhere
to be cured. and thus
I have to make a change myself.
In three words
I can sum up
everything I've learned about life.
It goes on. really.
so there it goes new sport,
that doesn't require footwork
and speed plus endurance.
but definitely not chess game :P

Monday, October 10, 2011

anis


kau orang ada? :B

ex




Q: how did you forget your ex?
A: I never really forget them.



idiot

seriously dude,
there's 2 things that
can make me pathetically
pissed off.
one is calling me while I'm sleeping
and one is knocking on my door
also while I'm sleeping.
pleasee, get a life you idiot

Friday, October 7, 2011

what I feel

what you see
is me carrying my
soul running around
somehow to find
connection with
someone or to own
other soul.
what I breath is
a total lonely air.


p/s: what you see and what I feel is totally different

I shouldn't be too loyal

lonely nights killing me.
you know how does it feels like
to love someone with all
your heart and soul?
to be devoted in relationship?
to be a total loyal person for
the one and only person you love?
it feels so good really.
but did you know how does it
feels like to be betrayed?
how does it feels like to have
someone telling you,
you are not perfect, you are just
not the one?
it feels like the world crushes
down on you. you feel weak,
you can't move not even a single
bone and you just lost your soul.
have you ever feel that?
it sucks really.trust me.
you've got to ask my heart :/

potential




I see painful ending
in every potential relationship



sam hear me out,

maybe I was thinking too much.
maybe I shouldn't do what I've done.
it's not how easy I could fall for you
it's about how quick I can forget you
later. James Blunt said, cause I saw the
end before we begun.
you see, there's no such thing called
forever. even relationship won't lasts.
I know you well, I know your smell
and I've been addicted to you.
We don't have much time to spend
together. you have your own world
and I have mine. I can't live with you.
you said relationship needs time,
I said I believe relationship has an ending.
sam, well I don't know how wud this
going to end. I don't know how did it
started either. I know nothing.
all I know is we've been so addicted
to each other and sooner or later
you're going to leave me. how did
I forgot my ex? such a beautiful
question really, don't worry sayang
time will come. I'll forget you later.
I have issues trusting on others.
I won't let my heart hurt ever again.
no worries, be strong yah heart?
I'm here for you :'(

Monday, October 3, 2011

different culture



Ethnicity and background really
aren't a big deal in a relationship.
It's all about love
of the other person
for who they are on the inside.



Friday, September 30, 2011

ini soal hidup

cerita ini bukan karangan
cerita ini semua kebenaran
pernah dengar bapak romen anak?
itu bukan hal besar dunia.
pernah dengar suami pukul
bantai isteri anak anak sampai koma?
ini pun bukan kisah dunia besaran.
pernah dengar si bapa ada perempuan lain
selain si ibu?
even ini pun perkara remeh.
pernah dengar si suami sembunyi perkahwinan
kedua ketiga dari isteri pertama?
ini malah sekelumit masalah.
pernah dengar si isteri beromen lelaki lain
atas sebab suami tak sedap goncang nya?
ini juga hal biasa biasa terdengar.
bukan ini semua isu yang aku mahu dendang kan
bukan ini hal hal mahu diperbincang.
perkara akar nya, yang tidak tercapai
dek akal tu semua boleh jadi masuk akal.
aku bersyukur tak merasa duduk bawah
tempurung, bila dengar kisah kisah ini,
tak ada lah perlu terbeliak mata
tak perlu lah nak membuat muka pelik
juga tak perlu nak mengkritik lebih lebih.
tenang dan mengucap sudah memadai.
tak perlu perbesar masalah.
ini hidup, ini life.
kalau orang putih tu kata,
life as we know it :)

no promises

I can't count on anybody
I can't hold on to promises
I'm afraid of loosing
things in my life.
because being a person
like me that do things with all
my heart and soul is really sucks.




the only thing
I'm afraid of
making promises
is that you'll break my heart



have you got that soul?



what you need is that pretty smile
to carry around and attracting
everyone around you :)
It's not attention seeker,



it's a sense of humor and
pretty soul inside.



someone like you

I saw a picture of you with her.
you look pretty happy.
a lot more happier, really.
I wish you the best for everything.
love life especially where I'm sucks at.
have a great life btw :)


p/s: I'll find someone like you, later :)

kawan sampai mati :B

If I were given a chance
to choose between friends and lover
I would rather go for friends.
because I don't think lover is necessary
it's more likely that
he'll be just a burden for you.
there's a time you need to be fair
when or how to be with either your
friends and your lover.
Did you find it irritating to text
while chilling with all your friends?
I do. always did. yup.
Because at times, I learned that
everyone needs sometimes for themselves.
and lessons taught me things.
another thing that makes me realize
how friendship is precious, is that
you'll have no worries to talk about
stuffs (anything) with you bestie.
and you'll laugh out loud together to find
that each other is very irritating annoying and lunatic.
isn't that fun? :)
I may not a perfect friend,
I may have flaws, broke promises I've made
and such things.
but I am pretty sure that
I'll do anything in my power
just to be with my besties.

you know who you are, really -..-



Friday, September 23, 2011

fooling around

moving on is not that easy
after all. they said all you need
is time to heal and to forget
the past. life is not that easy.
you have your heart, you give it
to others and finally they break your heart.
sound pathetic enough roight?
love is about finding the most
comfortable person to be around with.
love is not something you can
be playing around with.
:)

I have a rommate

I own a very pretty
and handsome (dia pun confuse gender)
lionhead goldfish.
baby goldie,
I'll do anything for you baby goldie :)
switching off the lights when u want to sleep,
do frequent water changes for u
or even I would buy u an expensive
drinking water with O2. (serious talking)
do a lot of reading about goldfish care.
and etc etc.
jgn mati cepat nanti aku sedih tak boleh
pergi study *alasan macam kimak
haha. tak apa lah,
focus kat kau, develop rasaa sayangg
and treat kau nicelyy okay
baby goldie? alololo. meh cium sikit. muah muah.
dah. esok class at 8.
noight mates ;)


Wednesday, September 21, 2011

love




please don't fall
in love with me
I'm begging



Mike Posner "The Scientist" (Coldplay cover) (produced by Mike Posner)



awesome.


Come up to meet you, tell you I'm sorry
You don't know how lovely you are

I had to find you
Tell you I need you
Tell you I've set you apart

Tell me your secrets
And ask me your questions
Oh, let's go back to the start

Running in circles
Coming up tails
Heads on the science apart

Nobody said it was easy
It's such a shame for us to part
Nobody said it was easy
No one ever said it would be this hard

Oh take me back to the start

I was just guessing
At numbers and figures
Pulling the puzzles apart

Questions of science
Science and progress
Do not speak as loud as my heart

Oh tell me you love me
Come back and haunt me
Oh and I rush to the start

Running in circles
Chasing our tails
Coming back as we are

Nobody said it was easy
Oh, it's such a shame for us to part
Nobody said it was easy
No one ever said it would be so hard

I’m going back to the start

Oh ooh ooh ooh ooh
Ah ooh ooh ooh ooh
Oh ooh ooh ooh ooh
Oh ooh ooh ooh ooh

Sunday, September 18, 2011

flashback

those flashbacks suck
a million times really

dorm-room

Did I mentioned about getting
a single person dorm room?
it turns out to be
a lonely and boring dorm room
and every single night just killing me
and yes I hate it.
I seriously need to groom my room
very soon so that it'll be the nicest
place to be in the university.
lord, have mercy.
I feel insecure when I'm alone.
:(

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

kienna ini untuk awak :(

kiena
kita dengar pasal awak eksiden
tapi masa kita nak cakap sorry to hear that
too many people around saying the same
to you. kita tak nak sebuk sebuk time
ramai orang approached awak
kita rasa kita kawan paling jahat sebab
buat buat tak endah pasal awak
kita minta maaf banyak banyak.
kita tahu reason tu tak valid
tapi percayalah kita ada banyak
benda jugak kene deal dalam life.
apa yang kita tahu kita doakan
awak selamat sentiasa.
kita care pasal awak tau. kita sayang awak.
kienna, jangan nakal nakal
kita bersyukur sangat awak selamat masa eksiden tu.
kita tak ucap selamat hari raya
kita tak tegur awak lamaa sebab kita
sedih tengok awak sedih. kita tak nak
awak tahu kita sedih samaa.
kienna, kita rindu awak.

p/s: tak boleh keep u around apa yang kita tahu kita tied awak dalam hati.
hidup banyak dugaan. I love you so much <3

I am a weak person I do know nothing




all I know is
be nice to everybody,
at the end of the time
god will repay you
for your good deeds.
being sincere in life is the best way



Sunday, September 11, 2011

no sweat.



macam mana nak
ada jodoh dengan aku?
kau pun dah ada orang lain.
alahai. forever alone ah camni.
I try hard to get used with it (:
no sweat. ohyeah.


Saturday, September 10, 2011

girlfriend. the sweetest one

alololo.
your previous comments
making me touched bb.
yeah. really wish
last time you and nini were here.
together with edad and me twins haa.
tak apa. bet cherating
must be fun :)
I'll make it god's will okay?
miss you guys much :)


p/s: uitm pun aku rindu.alahai .__.

Thursday, September 8, 2011

I would like to be your friend forever :)




"The rain may be falling hard outside,
But your smile makes it all alright.
I'm so glad that you're my friend.
I know our friendship will never end."
-- Robert Alan



friends are forever

I'm writing this post while
trying to hold the tears from
falling thru my cheek.
alahai.
I missed my friends. they came
on the 6th and 7th september.
from kuala lumpur.
good friends of mine


amal yana muzz and mack

esah

haaa. totally happy they came.
even I keep on saying glad they
came. haha. emo pulak.
those things that I wished korg ingat
is that kentut sambung menyambung
malam nak tidur, sharing laughter,
lepak seaside. and loads more.
oh tak lupa gosips sepanjang jalan
sampai yana sakit tekak asik bergosip je
HAHAH.
sumpah rindu korang. and again
thanks for cominggg :)

p/s: I can't keep you guys around
but I can hold you guys in my heart :)

Sunday, September 4, 2011

ini bukan soal easy come easy go


"Did i make it that easy to walk
Right in and out of my life?"


It's not about how easy someone can walk in or out from your life.
It's about how much you are willing to share your love
with everyone around you.
It's about the time of your life where you make use of it to the fullest
by appreciating everyone that showed up in your life.
it's not about easy come easy go,
it's about choosing the right person in your life
to be spending your whole life with.
It's not about being flirty it's about soul. your inner soul.
the willingness for you to make that particular person
smile and cry while they are with you.
It's about the fishes in the water
where you can make the best of it choosing.
It's not about lust, it's about how passionate that person
can be while he/she with you.
It's not about short term relation, it's all about
the long term relationship investment.
It is always about meeting the wrong guy
before you met the perfect guy.

aku bukan pujangga
aku bukan kasanova
aku bukan si kaki cinta
aku cuma menghargai
setiap insan yang hadir
dalam diri aku
yang pernah buat aku
rasa bahagia, rasa duka
walaupun sedetik masa.
bukan easy come, easy go.
aku insan yang penuh
dengan perasaan
emosi dan simpati.
(: aku bukan sempurna

Saturday, September 3, 2011

Almost Lover Lyrics



gerry I mean this for you.
I like you still :)
take care there.

stupid faces

with those stupid faces
I've made.
who's gonna likes me anyway?
haha. silly me.
forever alone.
and I don't mind. HAHA

marriage :O

you probably won't read
my blog.
well, me too,
I don't think
I wanna get married :/

I am a boy




I wish I were born
as a boy.
seriously. no funny.



Thursday, September 1, 2011

i don't mind. really

keep hurting me.
and when you have had
enough with it
then, just leave me.
I don't mind :)

there's no such word called love




I trust no one.
I believe everyone is a liar
and no one is perfect indeed.
true love or whatever love
does not exist.



perfect is so not me

I tak perfect kan.
told you.
tak apa lah.
you have a good life.
words broken.
get used with that.
:(

Tuesday, August 30, 2011

Selamat Hari Raya

often we wish everyone
selamat hari raya maaf zahir and batin
without really internalizing the
meaning behind the greeting.
Now days maaf zahir and batin
become annually routine
to be proclaimed in Syawal.
dear Muslims, let us together
understand the true meaning
behind those words.
:')

Monday, August 29, 2011

gratitude




I do appreciate everyone that came into my life.
Each and everyone.
thank you so much






Friday, August 26, 2011

I call it justice, not karma


Well, friends.
It's karma we've been dealing with
all the time.
manipulate it.
so it don't hit you hard (:
Karma is just a philosophy
consisting merely of ideas
that people have formulated.
It is a
"beliefs unsupported by evidence”.
it is apparently a coincidence.
Karma is an educative process.
Learn whatever needs to be learned
or harsher conditions
to drive in the lesson will arise.
Within adverse conditions
often lie the opportunity.
By maintaining
a positive attitude and energy,
you can begin to see
more good things
come into
your current karma experience.



#refer to The Noble Quran, (30:41)



Thursday, August 25, 2011

I speak sarcasm language




I don't understand
why some people
cannot differentiate
between sarcasm
and compliments.
seriously, have you lost your sense?



Tuesday, August 23, 2011

mind blowing. really.

kelakar pun ada
rasa nak kimakk kan
kau pun ada. rasa macam
geli geli pun ada weh.
tapi tak de lah nak hina sangat.
it's your life. malas nak ambil
port. cuma bila dah proven
you are the kind,
so satisfied to know la.
happy.
funny when this friend
of mine turn up to me asking me about you.
ya Tuhan, the fact is she's having
feelings for you and that is ghreat.
tak kan lahh I nak halang
she's my friend, u get what I mean.
and there's a thinking macam
oh mai gad. should I tell her the real you
or should I let her hurting the same way
more or less like me?
oh tak, aku tak hurt langsung
malah rasa sangat bersyukur
sebab tahu mmg kita tak hold future together.
thank god. thank god. thank god.
so that's you.
that is the real casanova guy.
the one who tries every girl
you can think off. it's like,
u ada ke, tak ada u ke, I okay je.
macam you have nothing to do in my life.
that's what I should be telling you
when you first asked me last time,
"did I give you any impacts on your life?"
remember I was gahhh, y u asking me
such Q. I was out of words, not because
I am excited about what were you asking
I buried in silence because I'm not that
really much into you. -.-
*I'm in deep shit man.
I faked the answer really,
told you, "you touched my heart."
walawehh. I shouldn't do that
in the first place. so, after that shocking
moment about me friend telling me
having an affair with you,
*not shocking,it's more like predicted. haha*
tak apa lahh, go on with your niat murni
in having her with you.
I quit. it was quite a long time ago.
funny how you get caught red handed.
alamakk. life is still a long journey to go for me.
ini pasal meeting a guy yang dia rasa
oh mai I AM SO HOT
I should be chasing all the girls.
you don't impress me. I swear. haha


*mind you I am very good at faking things.
because cancerians know how to be real good
and how to be really bad, worst than SATAN.

awhh. thank god !




no wonder I can't visualize
spending my future with you.
you're just not the one.
thank god.



Monday, August 22, 2011

money can buy anything seriouslyy

where to start?
current addiction is vanilla coke.
last time I remember bicarbonate
drink is the one yang boleh buat
aku dizzy so after minum one
sure rasa mabuk pening nak muntah apa semuaa.
but it was last time la.
recently minum vanilla coke terus
sukaa and tak ada apa rasa pening pun.
mungkin dah akil baligh?
haha.*tak masuk akal.

ya Tuhann, panjang nyaa intro.
aku nak tulis benda lain
sebenarnyaa. well, I'm currently
working at this one apparel boutique.
working is not an easy job.
it's nothing to be playing around.
yes, I go there to spend my whole
school holidays and others of course
to shake my ass for the pay.
tengok staff lain work their best
earning monthly payy to sara anak and family
really touched me a lot. well, of course
bila dah akil baligh ni laa baru think straight.
bukan duk g kerja lepak lepak, buang masa.
tahu lahh, gaji pun bukan berapa sgt weh
sebulan tu haaa. nak bayar rumah, kereta,
anak makan pakai minumm, gila wehh
banyak duit nak pakai serious.

oh oh, Fuck my life. sedang aku menulis post ini
jiwa dikacau dengan lonjakan hati untuk
menulis satu lagi post lain yang
seronok ronok lahhh. hahaha.
#iklan sekejap.

let me finish with this one first. mati lah
esok kerja full mesti mengantuk.
HAHA. biarlah -.-'
tak ada apa pun aku nak cakap
sebenarnay cari duit ni
bukan mudah, as parents lagi sakit
ohmai. bila cakap pasal gaji besar
and apa tu haaaaa emm
perancangan money, it is a serious matter.
because how high you ada pay,
if you don't know how to
use your money wisely and ber budget
sure thing duit bnyk pun rasa tak cukup.
haihhh. this is a reminder for me
myself and for everyone out there :)
I seriouslyy need to start saving for kahwin
dan sebagainyaa. -..- haha
tolong tolong ingatkan saya ok folks? :B
thanks :D

Saturday, August 20, 2011

cancerians





I am a
typical and predicted
and strongly possessed all those
characters of
cancer.




I'm growing too fast.

mom, do you miss me?
do you missed how I used to be?
do you missed every single time
I asked you for the botol susu?
do you miss sleeping beside me
playing with my hair, kissing me
silently while I sleep?
mom, it kills me too knowing I am a big girl now.
I just can't be the old me.
the one who still holding botol susu
everywhere I go, crying every single day
don't want to go to kindergarten.
I knoww deep inside you miss me
roight? don't denyy me.
I am sorry if I am such failure to you :'(
I love you so much, mak.


no wonder you just
smiling when our little
brother saying that,
anis kan anak kesayangan mak.
hmm

no one cares. I don't care a shit either.

being emotional roight noww.
ahh. stress lah.
fahamm tak apa perasaan kau orang
bila parents kau orang treat korang
macam budak budak.
okay for the record semuaa should knoww
mostly apa yang aku buat semuaa
based on parents punya decision :(
so, tolak tambah diorang selalu cakap
I'm not big enough to berdikari.
tak bukan aku nak salah kan parents
hundred percent dalam hal ni.
and yes, it's absolute bout my own self.
the way I make every decision,
things that should make my parents
trust me, well at least give me a chance to
make my own decision & to be
responsible on every decision made.
kalau diorang tak trust aku.
siapa lagi? diri sendiri lah kan?
I have a low self esteem bila borak
pasal family, pasal parents,
pasal siblings. I don't even want to
talk about it either.
why try so hard when no one listens ?
aku pun dah malas nak entertain semuaa orang,
nak impressed semua orang.
aku penat lah. sumpah penat :'(
I've got nothing to impress. No one cares.
even my parents don't care. so?

Thursday, August 18, 2011

I am much more handsome than you :)

hello handsome.

it's kind of heart-beat-skipping
whenever I get a text or a call
from youu. you excite me much.
you should know that missing
you is something out of my control.
and thinking about holding a future
together is another out of our sense thingy.
I knoww
oh well, things happened :)
yeah, missing you here.

sunshine.

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

I was once a gay

having a same sex
relationship is nothing
more or less compared with
men-women love stories.
same sex basically think that
they do not produce offspring
and easy to care each other
based on the mentality of knowing
much more better each other needs.
some common reason why they
become one is basically dumped
from previous normal relationship.
others, family background, education
and et cetera.
I don't have rights to comment on
their behavior. I don't have any
to point out that this and that is haram.
This is an open stuff everyone knows
being gay is wayy against morality.
We still need to respect each other
because of the humanity.
I have nothing to say you seriously need God
you need faith and you need consistency.

change for better :)
you lose nothing, trust me.

Tuesday, August 16, 2011

irritating. they really are.

should I go like,
ohmaii gawddd ! I just coloured my hair
and I'm fucking love it.
*sounds fucking pathetic
yeaa I know. haha.
intro macam gampang.
so here I am
with a longg time not writing
anyy kat bloggie ni haa.

I really want to make a list.
things irritate me most:

1) a person captured his/her own pic using own camera or handphone looking like a twat. (taking own snapp) seriouslyy I don't have to give you an example on what I meant here roight. haha

2) a guy pathetically showing off by uploading his NEW girlfriend pics with a kissing picture and such. mann, it freakingg ugly. seriously -.-

3) a person yang BARU 2-3mins kenal tegur bagai nak rak, like you know me since I'm a kid brahh. like we used to play pondok pondok or guli sama samaa. take it sloww brahh, I do not like harsh people menggelabah and bajet lu cool. haha

4) a person yang suka judge orang lain. eventhou I'm doing it sometimes. but don't go to far laaa. kalau orang tu ada buat taik dgn youu baru lah you balas balik. haha. *do not interfere other's life when you got nothing to deal with. unless you want to be known as useless cuntbag. go ahead brahh.

5) people who wake me up early morning shouting like a crazy person. come onnn don't you know it is very important to have a very good startup day? seriously I feel like pushing you off the cliff you twat.

that's all I can think of
roight now. nanti ada lagi wa
tambah.
tapi kan weh, haa. this is only
feelings. mcm mana
kitaa nak buat dia jadi
positive vibes is that we look
at all the irritating thingy
as something yang alah,
kimak betul ni benda kecik je weh.
HAHA.
tapi sumpah irritating
rasaa nak gigit kaca sampai patah gigi.
*okayy merapu bye !

Thursday, August 11, 2011

hantaran jang oi !

*click for Fucking enlargement

NAMPAK KE TAK?
haaaa. haha.
kalau dah ready,
ada empat ketul tu
u dtg je rumah,
i okay je.
cakap dgn mama i,
then kita kawin laa.
haha.
#ada ke? forever alone ahh aku mcm ni
T_T HAHA

is that too much? :O

where facebook has been a medium
to interact with all friends,
twitter to tweet your current emo,
bloggie that contains vast emotions,
and lookbook has been unintended
in the absence of nice camera
plus formspring that so outdated
and tumblr where you can sooth
you feelings with nice pictures.
that's a lot brahh. we are
so-called-internet-generation.
:B

a soldier

every movie that
relates to a soldier
reminds me much
about you.
about how am I
used to be owned
by a charming soldier.
but life has to move on.
he choose to leave me.
to be on his own.
to fight for the country,
leaving me to
another great man.
that can treat me right.
that can be by myside
always.
just always.

Wednesday, August 10, 2011

pretty inside out

she is very pretty.
not like me.
she is amazing dashing
and everything about
her is fantastic.
whyy can't I be
pretty like her?
why can't I be as
awesome as her.
she has a very beautiful
soul. she's gorgeous.


hello girls,
listen closely,
if you are too busy
comparing yourself
with others, you'll
forget how beautiful
you are. how amazing you are.
be grateful for life
is something that
meaningful and you
can't waste even a sec
of it. be grateful

life as we know it




I really don't mind being
all alone by myself.
I really don't care if
I have to walk and to
stand alone in this world.
when you can be on your own feet,
why expect others to lend you
a helping hand and make you
stand up?
be strong. be tough.
excepting the truth that
we are all dealing with the same thing,
life :)




Monday, August 8, 2011

Rihanna - Man Down




"Man Down"

I didn't mean to end his life
I know it wasn't right
I can't even sleep at night
Can't get it off my mind
I need to get out of sight
Before I end up behind bars

What started out as a simple altercation
Turned into a real sticky situation
Me just thinking on the time that I'm facing
Makes me wanna cry

Cause I didn't mean to hurt him
Could've been somebody's son
And I took his heart when
I pulled out that gun

Rum pum pum rum pum pum pum rum pum pum pum
Man Down
Rum bum bum bum rum bum bum bum rum bum bum bum
Man Down

Oh mama mama mama
I just shot a man down
In central station
In front of a big ol crowd
Oh Why Oh Why
Oh mama mama mama
I just shot a man down
In central station

It's a 22
I Call her Peggy Sue
When she fits right down in my shoes
What do you expect me to do
If you're playing me for a fool
I will lose my cool
And reach for my fire arm

I didn't mean to lay him down
But it's too late to turn back now
Don't know what I was thinking
Now he's no longer living
So I'm bout to leave town

Cause I didn't mean to hurt him
Could've been somebody's son
And I took his heart when
I pulled out that gun

Rum bum bum bum rum bum bum bum rum bum bum bum
Man Down
Rum bum bum bum rum bum bum bum rum bum bum bum
Man Down

Oh mama mama mama
I just shot a man down
In central station
In front of a big ol crowd
Oh Why Oh Why
Oh mama mama mama
I just shot a man down
In central station

Look I never thought I'd do it
Never thought I'd do it
Never thought I'd do it
Oh gosh
What ever happened to me
Ever happened to me
Ever happened to me
Why did I pull the trigger
Pull the trigger pull the trigger BOOM
And end a nigga end a niggas life so soon
When mi pull the trigger pull the trigger pull it pon you
Somebody tell me what I'm gonna what I'm gonna do

Rum bum bum bum rum bum bum bum rum bum bum bum
Mi say wah man down (A weh mi say)
Rum bum bum bum rum bum bum bumm rum bum bum bum
When mi went downtown

Cause now I am a criminal criminal criminal
Oh lord a mercy now I am a criminal
Man Down
Tell the judge please gimme minimal
Run out a town none a dem cah see mi now

Oh mama mama mama
I just shot a man down
In central station
In front of a big ol crowd
Oh Why Oh Why
Oh mama mama mama
I just shot a man down
In central station

awesomee

Sunday, August 7, 2011

:/




homai.
I miss you.
seriouslyyy



Saturday, August 6, 2011

malas pun bolehh :B

I nak text you,
tapi ada feelings tu
macam I mengganggu you sgt2
eventhou you've said
text doesn't bother
you at all.
tapi serious I rasa macam
hamaigadd tak penting
tak payah text lah.
*malas sebenarnya*
haha
I remember you questioned me,
bolehh eh malas?
apa tak boleh? meh habaq sat pasaipa x boleh?
haha

mixed blood

clarification.
for having a mixed-blood,
people always confused about you.
mula mula tu you mesti lah
making that weird pathetic face,
like, watafak mann? O_o
thenn slowly
you get used with others Q
'you don't look like malay lah, are you?'
'you don't look like local people'
'are you from outside?'

dik, are you local?
homai do I look like oreng putih?
haa ini paling tak boleh blah
rasa nak kembang kan hidung
sampai minggu depan.
tolong lah faham,
I ada mixed blood within the nations je
tapi tak ada lah sampai
muka macam kajol,
asal usul arab,
muka iras jennifer garner*muntah*,
haha.
penat dah layan orang tanya tanya
kadang kadang aku sembur je
pak, saya orang indon :B HAHA
well the fact is yeaa i ada origin sana.
pueh hati? pueh dak? -..-

texting is just not my type




I'm not a text person.
I prefer chat on the phone
rather than hurting my
thumb texting you.
yes yes, I am lazy fat ass bum bum
well somehow listening to your voice really
makes me calm :)
it's kind of therapy :)



blissful feeling

macam mana kalau
kauorang boleh
imagine live your whole
life with one particular
person?
:)

mesti best kan oi?

Thursday, August 4, 2011

sama kan? -..-

we share the same
cheek bonee
*pengsannn* haha