Atelophobia

Have you ever regret on 

something that you had done?

Honestly,

there's a thing I wish that it has 

an undo button.

Many things, I supposed.

It's like you fell like

mourning and crying your heart out.

I have the fear of imperfection. 

Not that I always wanted to be the best

in everything, 

it is just that what I've done in my past

has more or less give impacts on my future.

It affects my feelings and my thinking.

I think I should learn to expect, allow and accept.

Accepting is the hardest part of all.

It's hard to really accept what had past.

Your past is like a ghost,

it haunts you, it kills you. literally.

I don't know what future holds for me.

I never wanted to expect anything.

Knowing that someone would 

come into your life, accept you wholeheartedly

is more than enough. 

Life is not that easy.

And trust me, life is not that always beautiful.

Pretending that everything is okay

carving smiles on my face is

probably the best I can do.

I wished I laugh harder everyday 

and forget about everything that has happened.

I wished you would hold me tight,

and tell me everything is going to be okay.

Tell me, convincing me that I am doing good, doing great.

I wished you would love me endlessly 

and accept me for who I am.